The Ramblings of a _______ Man
by Leon Terrix
"We cast away priceless times in dreams,
Born of imagination, fed upon illusion,
And put to death by reality."
As I sit here, I am wondering: where had I first heard this? Ah... Karolina used it as her senior quote, as did I. My fear for it is still there. I'm afraid of it because it's true. I do not live in reality, but in fantasy. More often than not, the real world is drastically different from what I conceive it to be in my dreams. Now, you may wonder what my point is, or what idea I am trying to convey. Well, the truth is, I don't know either. I am just sitting here and feeling the anxiety of graduation.
I never really thought about graduation until now. Its meaning and significance just hit me with all its force, like a jab in the stomach. It's the end of an important chapter in my book of life. It's the season finale of a boring show. It's the beginning of college. It signifies new challenges ahead. It makes me wonder if I am ready to face it.
I have constantly asked myself, what can this world offer me? And I have always arrived at the same succinct answer: nothing. Nothing in which that I find valuable. So why live at all? Why am I still alive? Why am I suffering through the unspeakable pains that this world inflict on me? Am I qualified to be compared to Prometheus? To Sisyphus? No, I am simply the modern version of Prometheus, of Sisyphus... I am still alive because I'm a coward, I don't have the guts to kill myself. Or rather, I don't have the guts to revolt.
Am I depressed? Yes. Am I morbid? Yes. Am I sinking deeper and deeper into a hole? Yes. So please, the next time you see me, put a bullet through my head. Put me out of my misery.
Is there a point to any of this? Not really. Is this well organized? I'm afraid not. But thanks for reading. I am sure you are now having the warm and fuzzy feeling of wasting 5 minutes of your precious life.